5 HABITS OF ASSERTIVE PEOPLE

These are the 5 habits of assertive people. People who are assertive gets what they want without being aggressive, begets respect, and possesses a true confidence

assertive

Assertiveness is one of the most important skills for having a great communication and relationship with people. Assertive person express her/his feelings and thoughts to other people when they feel something is right or want to express because it is a need and important, either way, this skill is very important if you don’t want to be taken advantage by people or if they don’t respect your boundaries

FIVE HABITS OF A TRUE ASSERTIVE PERSON

1. Assertive people understand’s assertiveness 

Most people who are not assertive doesn’t understand assertiveness they don’t know why it is an important skill to be implemented in their life. So they become a victim, they say that people abuse them or they don’t feel important in a group or their need is not satisfied, it is because they lack the knowledge of being an assertive

here’s what you can do

To excel and have the habits of assertive person fast

  • Take courses in assertiveness.
  • Read books.
  • Watch videos like TED talks.
  • research more about becoming assertive until you can explain it without notes.

2. Know your priorities

People who have the habits of assertiveness know their priorities. They make their needs on their top priority list but that doesn’t mean they don’t accept a request from others, they just know what is important to them first.

let me give you an example

Let’s say I am having a conversation with my girlfriend and she said that she wanted to go to a party with me, and I know for myself if I Refuse her she would get upset. But I know in fact that I need to wake up early tomorrow because I need to workout early morning and after that, I need to finish my Big project.

so what I am going to say?

it might be “Sorry, but I need to wake up early morning to workout after that finish my project, but I will make up to you next time.”

You have to be real and honest with yourself and to other people about your priorities, this is one of the top habits of  assertive person

3. Strong body language and vocal power

People who talk and act and make people listened and pay attention to them have a strong body language and a strong vocal power. I know for myself that you can be better than that, be like a lion where he is strong and has a strong voice. Having that trait can dramatically improve your confidence and assertiveness.

let’s take the difference between a weak and strong body language and vocal power

if a man who has a weak body language and vocal power, he is not being listened to people would not have a clear idea if what he is talking is important. It is like an advertising banner if it is strong and persuasive people would react to it. but if it is just posted there, people won’t care and people would only pass by.

Let me give you quick tips for getting strong body language and vocal power.
  • Observe the body language of the speakers and motivators like Martin Luther King, Les Brown and Steve Jobs.
  • Open your body, don’t cover it with your hands and other.
  • workout for automatic strong body language
  • Read this blog – how to make people like you in 6 easy steps 
  • Practice speaking loud and clear

 

4. Stand and speak up for yourself – don’t get angry

Remember we have rights. if you think something is not right, then you are right something’s not right. if you see someone being bullied and can’t speak up, you have to stand up and fight for his right, or if what the business promises to do and broke that promise then speak up.

Let me give you a simple example

let say that you ordered for Large pork ribs, after waiting 15 minutes, you see the waiter looking at you and walking to you, and then he hands to you a regular tuna belly.

an unassertive person will think “I think I have different order but oh well, this still looks tasty”

an assertive person might say to the waiter “Excuse me, but I think you hand me a different dish, I ordered a Large pork rib”

Top Habit of an assertive person is they say what on his mind, and express it calmly.  

5. Use I instead of You

If you try to speak up and express disapproval; what most people would do is to express “You”. not knowing that the other person can be triggered and may not listen to you

An example of speaking up your mind using “I”

when your friend always try to make fun of you in front of your other friends, most unassertive people would do is to react “you are always insulting me everytime we are with our friends, you try to make fun of me so everybody would laugh”

an assertive would say I am sorry John, but I feel embarrassed when you try to make fun of me in front of our friends”

another example is when your boss demanded to make the project in one day an assertive person would say I’d prefer that you at least give me four days to finish this project, it would be much better if I have the time to be focused and not rushing the project”.

CONCLUSION

Summary

As result of being Assertive, you can now be more confident, caring, and be respected by people around you.

The 5 Habits of Assertive person

  • Assertive people understand assertiveness – Read more books, watch videos like Ted talks, and take courses all about assertiveness.
  • Know your priorities – what do you really prioritize in life, do you do what others told you to do?.
  • Strong body language and vocal power – open up your body don’t hide it, speak louder and clear.
  • Stand and speak up for yourself – you have rights, fight for it! but remember do it calmly.
  • Use “I” –  I feel, I prefer.  use it when you have to stand up and speak for yourself and for others.

 

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karlpatacsil

Founder of My ImprovementHub - It's all about Improvement

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