What am I back then before meditating?
Back then from High School ’til 1st yr at the university, I am this teenager who isn’t aware that I have low esteem, low confidence, have bad friends, bad habit, addicted to porn, addicted to video games, was a bully, and everything that is negative you can see from that kid.
I want to become rich quick so I joined some MLM networking then failed, I want to become famous so I try to get the attention of the lower years in my high school.
I know I know, I was shit back then, but today I just laugh it out and still loving those memories because it made me know the difference between a bad character vs a good character. and then I came across with personal development and got addicted to it until I came across with meditation.
My Experience in meditation
When I encounter a guided meditation on youtube, this guy tries to explain how do you meditate then I tried it because I love trying, during that meditation, I don’t know what I supposed to feel, I don’t if what I am doing is correct. and then I searched for the benefits of meditation and then I kinda like it, so I want to try again.
During months of meditation daily. The hardest part of my progress is that my mind always wander, It’s like I notice my mind is so wild, It’s hard to focus, and sometimes my laziness struck so when I try to meditate I want to shorten the time and I always mind wander so I don’t get the full benefits of it. Another one when meditating, I kinda fall asleep.
What Did I felt when I Mastered Meditation?
Well, I feel like It’s easy meditating, I can easily focus on my meditation. I feel like I am in a different place where in fact I am just on my bed locked on the room. Sometimes my mind wanders but I can easily notice that and go back to being mindful, I focused on breathing and have a deeper breathing, I am relaxed and peaceful it feels like it’s heaven, and the best part I can last longer.
I felt like I am relaxed like drinking hot coffee, I experience like I am in the clouds, and felt the feeling of seeing a great sunset, I feel wonders.
What have I become now?
Well, to be honest, I became a more charismatic guy, I can connect to people instantly, I have extreme confidence that I can talk and have a conversation with people or strangers, I am calm even in a stressful event, I don’t worry about what’s going to happen next good or bad, my movement became slow it’s like I don’t worry about time so I don’t rush.
The biggest realization of this is if I didn’t do this back then, I am depressed and don’t know how to manage my emotions, I am fearful I don’t know how to go out there and face challenges, maybe I would be afraid of putting myself out there, and maybe I constantly worry all the time.
and here I am blogging and talking to you! and also I am not motivated about getting rich or becoming famous but if I become that, I would try to leverage it to help people but still not motivated. It’s not my ultimate goal even subconsciously, What I want is to create a meaningful life, a great life. You should Try it and you’ll see!
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